Uncharted: A Fun Bit of Adventuring Ruined by Constant Hordes of Enemy Militia

11 April 2020

It’s 1995. I’m playing Tomb Raider, a game about finding things, exploring the wilderness, solving puzzles and occasionally dispatching the local wildlife.

2020 and I’m now Nathan Drake, finding things, exploring the wilderness, solving oh wait no there’s a guy with a gun. And another one. Oh he brought a friend. Now I’m in a room full to 10 men with guns and if I dispatch then here’s 10 more and oh look that one has a rocket launcher one shot and oh no, you’re done, time to do that all again. Repeatedly.

We’re in the middle of nowhere, where do they even get these guys from? Is there a cruise ship parked round the back of the island? Secret tunnel to a city? How did all the bullets get here?

As if to add insult to injury the game’s hint mechanism triggers when you’re even in spitting distance of a puzzle. Haven’t solved it in 5 seconds ping hint time, I’m here if you need me. You don’t even have to press the button, sometimes the fun of a puzzle is thinking there might be something here and scouring a room without ever really knowing but ping nope I’m telling you there’s something here. It’s almost like the puzzles aren’t the whole point of the game anymore, treated like an unessasary inconvenience blocking you from the next gun battle.

Nope, nuh-uh. See the puzzles are the fun bit and the gun battles are the tedious ‘seriously isn’t this over yet’ rolleye moments. Why can’t I get a ping hint for those? Like ping there’s a sniper rifle behind the staircase, rather than dying 20 times in a row entering a single room and quitting the game for 3 months.

And whoever decided video games need a ‘reload’ command needs to go sit in a corner and think about what they did.

I know modern games like their guns but if I liked guns I’d be playing Call of Duty. I’m not. Modern Tomb Raider titles went the same way, I wonder if there is such as thing as the fun exploration game anymore. The rest of the game I’ve really enjoyed, but these constant gun battles really drag the experience down.

The Uncharted collection disc is a trilogy so I’ve got 2 more to go. Perhaps I’ll take a break before starting those… and turn off the hint setting this time.